Cancer Diagnosis and Admission - End of April to May 12th

 It feels strange writing this, almost exactly 6 years after starting my last hospital blog (adaminhospital.blogspot.com). Something I had hoped I would never have to do again. 

I had, as people who know me, or read my blog from years back know, Severe Aplastic Anaemia back in 2015. And since October of that year, I've been pretty good. I had my life back, playing sport, gym and enjoying a good career. COVID put a big spanner in that, as it did for everyone, and I spent 2020 shielding mainly back home at my parents. Due to the nature of Aplastic Anaemia, I'm not supposed to have flu jabs and travel jabs, but the risk of COVID is so great that it was decided that I should take the vaccines as the positives outweighed the risks.

A couple of weeks after my second jab I was scheduled in for my 4monthly blood test. The results unfortunately weren't great, and I began getting prescribed a lot more tablets, as it was believed I may have relapsed into Aplastic Anaemia. One of the side affects of the medication is mad growth in your gums, something I still have as I write this. I'm a gummy boi. This made it incredibly difficult to eat as I can't chew properly, can't even shut my mouth properly, and for someone who sleeps on their front, very difficult to sleep.

On Friday 30th April I was booked into a bone marrow biopsy, my 5/6th one I think. Just a couple of days before starting my new job on May 4th. I won't go into details of the biopsy too much as there's plenty about it on my earlier blog, but suffice to say it wasn't a barrel of laughs. It was difficult to get through the bone to get the samples, so a couple of attempts were made, it wasn't great.

My first week at the new job went well, the team and everyone I was meeting were incredibly friendly and helpful, and there was no issues in that I had to sometimes pop up to Kings Hospital for bloods to be taken early in the morning for monitoring and then I could rush back home to try and be online for work as soon as possible. My numbers on haemoglobin, platelets, neutrophils etc all continued to steadily drop despite all the medications I was on. As always Kings Hospital NHS staff are beyond exceptional, trying to fit things around my work, particularly Simon who has been emailing me regularly and swiftly with updates, info and advice about medications etc. Especially as, during April I was having some strong side affects to one drug in particular which weirdly seemed to attack my butt and dick (those are the scientific terms I believe), in reality nothing like happened to them, but it felt like they were being cut despite absolutely zero observable issues, thankfully I was allowed to come off of that tablet. But the docs did seem to find it strange when I explained to them, not sure it was on the expected side affects.

On Monday 10th May I had another early blood test and this time a clinic consultation at roughly 11. They wanted me there face to face rather than a phone call. So I did the blood test around 8:30 that morning, and sat in the Golden Jubilee Wing of the hospital and did work on my laptop, meeting more members of the team and getting to grips with my new role.

There really is no feeling or emotion that can be used to describe your reaction when you are told you have cancer. I wouldn't know how to put it to paper, but this would be my pathetic attempt; it's a huge gut drop like when your car goes over an unexpected dip, but a million times worse, and that doesn't do it justice. I was told I don't have Aplastic Anaemia (WOOO), but instead have Leukemia cancer (BOOO). I was told they believed it to be highly treatable and that I would get through this (fingers crossed) which is great to hear. As always my mum was present throughout, since April 2015 when I didn't tell her what was happening, she has been by my side in hospital ever since. She says because she loves me, but really she just doesn't trust me to tell her I expect. My mum's reaction to hearing the news in the consultant room beside me will live with me forever too.

After the call I went and spoke with my girlfriend Ana and let her know as she was waiting and working in the wing. I then called up a couple of people, while my mum let my sister Grace and my Dad know. Once I was home I called my line manager and let him know that the person he'd hired who was on just his 5th day at the company, had had this news. He and the company have been exceptional and have offered so much support despite the fact that I had only just walked through the door. I really am grateful.

I took the rest of that Monday off work, and started back up on Tuesday and tried to put it behind me. I was supposed to be admitted that Tuesday (11th) but there were some complications so I was instead admitted on Wednesday the 12th. So on Tuesday evening my 6aside team attempted to video chat me their match so I could watch, which made things worse tbh as we lost 6-1, and most of what I could see was the ever present Withers picking the ball out of the net ;) . On Wednesday My family and Ana came to see me off and say goodbyes. Due to COVID, visiting is very difficult and the next few weeks will be too.

Hospital Goodbyes

I don't know how well my condition will allow me to write, I write this on Friday evening as I feel ok(ish), but have been in a lot of pain recently, and have also been really loopy and confused. I will try to have something uploaded every few days.

I want to say thankyou as always to all the NHS staff who have helped me so much, and will be helping me over the next few weeks. My family of course, and my friends, co-workers and everyone else who has been in touch. If I could ask one thing, it would be for people to sign up to the Anthony Nolan register, it really is vital. The reason I didn't go through chemotherapy back in 2015 with Aplastic Anaemia (very similar to cancer and can become it), is that we couldn't find a match. I will need a match this time around though. Please do join and get others to do so :) 

https://www.anthonynolan.org/?gclid=CjwKCAjwv_iEBhASEiwARoemvGzyCr8dw76fiLyfTKyjjFv_FH2lfGrng63p0MdnXJrqF-xcmkXv4RoCoCUQAvD_BwE